Murdoc's Sex Tape

Murdoc's Sex Tape is an audio recording depicting Murdoc having sexual relations with an unknown woman. The file was leaked by Ceri Levy, the director of Bananaz, who posted it on the film's blog as revenge against Murdoc, who had previously hacked the Bananazfilm website.

Transcript
Murdoc: [Enters room] Ah, ma cherie, we meet again.

Woman: Is that a camera?

Murdoc: Uh, no. No. Well, uh, yeah. Well, maybe. It's not mine.

Woman: I don't want anyone finding out about this, Murdoc.

Murdoc: Mmm, mum's the word, darling. [Pops a champagne bottle] I-I thought we'd start with a little glass of this.

Woman: When you phoned, I didn't think it was real. [Glasses tink] In fact, I thought you were real at first.

Murdoc: Real? [Glass breaks] Oh, baby, I'm better than that. [Zip] Check this out.

Woman: Oh! Wow.

Murdoc: Yeah, it is, isn't it? Genuine leather Cuban heel boots. Very hard to find nowadays.

Woman: Would you like to...?

Murdoc: Oh, yeah, best get started. Mmm, there's a lot to get through.

Woman: Shall I, uh...

Murdoc: On your marks, get set, CHARGE!

Woman: Ohhhh! Ahhh!

Murdoc: Ooh, now that is a dangerous position. Yes, yes! Let's, uh, let's try, say, um, THIS!

Woman: Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!

Murdoc: And now, whoa! Ooh, Careful! Almost got my eye out there. Nurse! And, uh, add a little bit of, uh, turtle wax over there. Lethal Weapon.

Woman: I've never seen that before.

Murdoc: Ahem! Okay, now, let's have a look at the instructions. [Sound of of motor running and chainsaw whirring] Okay, now I want you to swing your whole body to the left. That's it! [someone knocks on the door; Murdoc answers it] Um, yeah?

Doorman: Is everything all right there, Mr. Niccals?

Murdoc: Yeah, you know, everything's fine! Yeah, I just, uh, I stubbed my toe. There's no problem! Everything's fine and shipshape in here.

Doorman: Uhhh, Okay. Well, just let me know.

Murdoc: Will do! Yeah, thank you! [Shuts door] Right. Now, where were we? Mmh, oh yeah. Yee-haw!

Man: Uh, hey, uh, sorry. Uh, do you mind? I'm trying to sleep.

Murdoc: Oh, Hang on. Who the bloody hell are you?

Man: It's my room, man. Uh, who are you?

Murdoc: Uh, Murdoc Niccals, Gorillaz. Pleased to meet you.

Man: Hey, I like your boots, man.

Murdoc: Oh, thanks. Well, they're Cuban, yeah? Genuine leather.

Woman: Very hard to find nowadays.

Murdoc: Look, um, while you're here, you know, I was wondering if you'd, um, ahem...

Man: Oh, sure, man! Uhh, No problem.

Murdoc: Hold this. Right. Back in the game. Ho! I saw this in a cartoon once. It's not really legal, but it's a lot of fun. [Random noises] HAAAAIIIIILLLL SATAAAAAN! Ahhh...yesss. Ooohhh. That wasn't bad. Right, okay. All done.

Woman: So, the recording contract?

Murdoc: Yeah, uh, no worries, love. Uhh, e-everything's sorted. It'll be on the post on, uh, you know. Monday. Promise.

Woman: And I can really be on the next Gorillaz album?

Murdoc: Oh, yeah, yeah. Featured artist, you know...

Woman: That's great! Fantastic. Bye!

Murdoc: Yeah, see ya.