Gorillaz: Times Magazine Interview (Part 2)

-"Clint Eastwood" plays-

 Interviewer : Um, the - the book is already doing quite well; is there, there's an iTunes audiobook download, straight, straight at number 4? Is that right?

 Murdoc : Yeah! Yeah, well, numbers 1, 2, 3 are held by Ricky Gervais. Y’know? We're not to shift him, ike, he’s – he’s the pod father apparently.

 Interviewer : He’s a podteller -

 2-D : And he’s fat!

 Murdoc : He’s pod-tastic….and he’s what, fat? -chuckles-

 2D : (Murdoc: he’s not actually really…) No I mean, like rich….fat.

 Murdoc : He’s not really that fat, is he?

 2D : No, I mean he’s got lots of money!

 Murdoc : (Interviewer: Phat!) Oh, so he’s phat?

 2D : Yeah!

 Murdoc : But we also did it, we have time….

 2D : I pe – I never said anything about his weight mate, you did!

 Murdoc : You’re talking about…

 Interviewer : We extrapolated!

 Murdoc : Yeah! Exactly! (Interviewer: From…) I’ve done that!

 Interviewer : From words that would ultimately come back and…

 Murdoc : I extrapolated all over the floor. Uh, anyway, no we did, we actually did! Yeah right, we did an audio version of the book. And uh, it was actually read by the venerable actor himself, Joss Ackland. He’s a lovely fellow.

 Interviewer : Oh...

 Murdoc : Absolute – absolutely! He’s 52 now, y’know? Yeah, I think that’s right. And, it gives the – it gives the book a whole new sense of gravity having him narrate it, y’know, you couldn’t have 2D do it. Y’know, it would have no gravitas. (Interviewer: That’s smart.) Absolutely no gravitas. And he might – he might drop off from time to time. (2D: Yeah.) So you see, you wouldn’t go there consistant read. Y’know?

 Interviewer : He don’t– he don’t mind –

 2D : Gravitas is not my forte!

 Murdoc : No...

 Interviewer : What is your forte?

 2D : Well, not knowing what words like “Gravitas” means!

-Pete laughs- 

 2D : So I’m not getting, offended, really!

 Murdoc : Yeah! You see, it bounces off of him.

 Interviewer : Of course! (Murdoc: beautiful!)

 Murdoc : Uhh...but it can hit – (Interviewer: Like a swan!) like a swan…like a cygnet -chuckles- like a scone!

 2D : Like a swan scone!

 Murdoc : Like a swan shaped scone!

 Interviewer : Have you had any feedback from people in the book?

 Murdoc : NO!

 2D : Well, we did get a bit of “BOOOOOOP!”

 Murdoc : That’s the only thing about we got, -sings- Ahwa – ah ah – ah, oh, ah-ah! AH AH!

No…-chuckles- actually, I - to be honest, Peter, I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m fully expecting the lawsuits to come rolling in any day now. Like, Courtney Love in all yeah, Sir Alan Sugar, Cameron, Kylie, Dannii, Angelina. I’ve had them all. So, I’m probably gonna hire some cartoon lawyer to deal with…all the crazy crap. I look forward to countersueing all comers. It’s just like tennis…really…

-2D sneezes-

 Interviewer : Jade Goody, U2, Kerry Katona, David….Hasselhoff?

 Murdoc : Oh! Hass!

 Interviewer : Shane Warne… (Murdoc: Hass!) -laughs- Shane Warne…Tommy Chong...

-Murdoc laughs-

 Interviewer : Tommy Chong. God the wonderful Tom Chong - they’ve all got books published this Christmas. What do you think of the competition?

 Murdoc : I….it’s…eh - it’s just the type of moronic line up that we face in the music world. And I think we’ll demolish the lot of them, quite frankly. It’s a BUMPER BEEZER BOOK OF BULLSHIT! AND IF YOU WHACK SOMEONE OVER THE HEAD WITH THIS, THERE REALLY GONNA FEEL IT!

 2D : (Murdoc: You know what I’m saying?) Oh no - I - I – I can vouch for that…

 Murdoc : Yeah, well, there’s only one occasion were I hit you with it. But, I mean there’s no competition, really! If Bono and co. can come up with a story that not ONLY encounters, Platinum selling albums, chart topping hits and global set out tours. But ALSO includes zombies, possessions, deals with the devil, jail spills, car crashes, fair grounds and Ike turner!

 2D : UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Murdoc: D12! -laughs- ) How’s that?

 Murdoc : Yeah! Tell us!

 Interviewer : Yeah, but, in Jade Goody's book her mum looses an arm. And that’s pretty good.

 2D : …Has she got it back? So did - so did the fella from Peter Pan! But no, he didn’t write a book, did he?

 Murdoc : No..

 Interviewer : The bloke from Peter Pan?

 2D : Yeah, Hook! He lost a… (Interviewer: Oh..!!) he lost a, yeah! Didn't he!

-Murdoc chuckles-

 Interviewer : I guess so, there is a threat.

 Murdoc : Uhh, anyway Gorillaz are the winners by a long shot. Y’know, id be surprised if Tommy Chong could remember any of his…biography judging by the amount of goulash he was putting away in the 70’s.

 Interviewer : Up in smoke one of the best reason’s –

 Murdoc : Oh no absolutely! Absolutely! Ah, now, there’s a few Dave jokes in there. I love that! “It’s Dave!”

 Interviewer 2 : There’s no Dave here! -laughs-

 Murdoc : I am Dave! I love it! It’s great son– we can all relate to that summer – didn’t you use to sit there listening to it? I’m sure you did.

 2D : I used to like ah uh -

 Interviewer : Yeah, to get an education -laughs-

 2D : “I only like Mexican Americans”…do you remember that?

 Murdoc : Yeah. No - well, they were - they are Mexican Americans. I think? It’s cheating chon…

Oh ah oh, wa, oh wa oh ah oh..!

-Pete laughs- 

 Murdoc : Anyway…um, were still together…right? Ah – ah – ah – oh!

 Interviewer : What’s – what’s the best rock book ever, apart from your own?

 Murdoc : Best rock book ever? Ummmmmmm…I did like Motley Crue’s book “The Dirt” That’s an eye watering read!

Led Zeppelin’s “Hammer of the Gods” that’s a good one too! It’s a bit tame by today’s standards.

Uh, Lester bangs and Greil Marcus have uh…uh both had a fair crack at rock literature.

Marilyn Manson’s “Long hard (Cheesy) road out of hell” that was a good read.

He’s a very good writer in fact! Y’know? It was like reading the memoirs of “The Fifth Marx brother” very funny.

 Interviewer : So what books did you read as a kid?

 Murdoc : Uhhhh, “Paddington goes to Hell” That’s one I can remember... yeah it was great! Y’know, that’s when he gets sorta…goes into, the dark, sorta, well, poor old Pads…gets off his nut. And sorta just, y’know, g-goes sorta missing for days on end. And she sees him popping out, they gotta pint of milk. And y’know, she doesn’t see him for like 2 weeks or whatever…y’know..

 2D : And they snack on them marmalade sandwiches…

 Murdoc : Yeah, he had a problem. I think he’s alright now. And y’know, I think he’s got it together -

 Interviewer : Those Peruvian bears they’ve – they’ve brought a few sequels –

 Murdoc : That’s funny it was from Peru, you see, you see how interesting that is?

 Interviewer : It is.

 Murdoc : The land of the bugle! Uhh –

 2D : I once had something bared from Peru…

 Murdoc : Did you – did someone bare gifts from Peru?

 2D : Yes!

 Murdoc : What was it..? Some Peruvian….scones..? -chuckles-

 2D : Uh…it was - a very interesting…..Uh, anyway look it's er, it don’t matter!

 Murdoc : Was it like an In – a – a – an Inka. Of an Inka, sorta persuasion?

 2D : it was an Inka Tennis racket...

 Murdoc : Ah! Highly strung! I shouldn’t wonder -chuckles- An Inka tennis racket… Umm! Five Go - I’m trying to think of some other great books I read as a kid! “Five Go Mad on Mescaline” that was another one! “Little Ms. Mayhem” Oh yeah! Enid Blyton’s “Harrowing Tales of Horror” that was a – that was a good read, there! Anton LaVey’s “Satanic bible” Y’know? “James and the giant inverted crucifix” “Chitty Chitty Gang Bang”…that was good.

 2D : Bang.

 Murdoc : Ah – yes! “Chitty Chitty Gang Bang”

 2D : Bang.

 Murdoc : Yes…it was good. Have you seen - I don’t know if you’ve seen that one. My - my - my father, right? Was a twisted and horribly, brutal man who would basically rewrite kids books and then leave them by the bed side for me to read at night. It’s terrible! What a thing to do!

 Interviewer : I think maybe he added different books up to the one I...

 Murdoc : Yeah, well y’know, it was old man who did all that. He did his best to scare the crap out of me. And make me childhood as traumatic as possible…

 Interviewer : It’s good. Your - you’re reaping the benefits now.

 Murdoc : I am you see, Peter! I would have been – I wouldn’t be, the man I am today if it wasn’t for that. Y’know?

 Interviewer : Indeed.

 Murdoc : Y’know. Ehhh?

-Pete laughs-

 Murdoc : Uh ehhhhhhhh…?