Pirate Radio: 2

''This is the second instalment of Pirate Radio hosted by Murdoc in 2010, on Plastic Beach. It's only Murdoc in this show.''

("I Wanna Marry a Light House Keeper" by Erika Eigen plays)

(Murdoc "Wah, Wah, Awh"s during the last parts) Nicely timed. Uh, there we go that's, uh, Erika Egg, uh, from uh- yeah that was her name, not sure- think it was- yeah, from Clot- from- uh, Cloctwork- clot, Clotwork- have you ever seen that film? Clotwort Orange? Oh, great film. It's better than Clockwork Orange. That was, that was alright, but Cloctwort Orange was fantastic. Was about that tall guy, that everybody threw bricks at. Do you remember? That was the whole film. Ah, I liked it! Ah- a lot of people didn't. I did!

Uh, right of course! You probably think, "What am I listening to? What's happened, I've got into a-a strange, uh, universe." Oh, you have in many ways, well. Your listening to me, Murdoc Niccals and uh, this is my very own radio show. (giggles like a madman) Great! (giggles again before chanting in a childlike manner) '''Murdoc's got his own show! Murdoc's got his own show, La-La-La-La, Hoy, La-La-La- '''(abruptly stops) I must have some rum (drinks of some rum, clearly enjoying the burn) Ow! (deep sigh) Y'know, my little- my little tinkle has just completely vanished, y'know? It's like a little baby carrot. Anyway, I shouldn't really told you, that's to much informa- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Anyway, you're listening to me, Murdoc Niccals. This is, uh, Point Nemo FM, 48 degrees south, 123 degrees west! (clears throat) That's the name of the Radio station, Point Nemo FM. Ah, there's no other radio station quite like it. Except Radio 1. Which is exactly the same. Other than that, there are no other radio stations like it.

Uh, and you know what? I gotta tell you a little secret. I- If you haven't been listening to the first show, '''What you been doing? Should of been listening to it.''' Uh, anyway, do you know where I'm broadcasting from? It's the most deserted spot. On. The. Planet! Y'know? (fighting talk) I'm on my own, alright? You gotta a problem with that? (yells) '''Sorry, if you got a problem with that, y'know? You wanna take it out with me someday, then FINE! '''(calms down) Otherwise I think we'll get on, really well.

Ah, but I'm uh, I'm stuck on this place called Plastic Beach". You should see it man. Oh- Oh what a place. I-I thought Southend was bad, y'know? But uh, I think this might be slightly worse. Not like I have anything agent Southend, actually. Neither does Southend, really is it?

(clears throat) Anyway, I was, uh. (clears throat again) Basically the reason I'm here- cause, I don't know if I told you the last show, but I was escaping from some- some- some pirates, (yelling in fear) '''OH GOD THEY WERE SCARY! Oh God! One of them had a Huge head! Oh, I Don't Like It! '''(stops yelling) I kept seeing his head in my dreams (noise of disgust) Hang on, I’ll just have some more rum- hang on a second (drinks more rum, noise of delight) Oh, that's better. (chuckles of pleasure) Oh, I went all Northern then. (bad Northern England accent) Oh, ‘ey, it's Murdoc from up North! Sounds funny, dun’t it? (laughs at himself, drops the accent)

Anyway. Right, no. W-what we do is we play music on this show, actually. And uh, I will actually be playing you, uh, some uh, Gorillaz uh, trac- I'm definitely going to be playing you the-the new track uh, Stink Fish. Great track. No, I really am gonna call it Stink Fish (Phil chuckles while speaking) the one I'm gonna play, right? I will! Uh- well, probably… I don't know. Anyway, um, what's the uh- I don't even know what the first- what's the first track? Oh yeah! I got it. Here we are. (talking to himself in a high voice) ''What’s the matter with ya Murdoc? Oh, Murdy, Murdy, Murdy.'' (sharp breath, addresses audience) You know when you spend a lot of time on your own? You go a bit mad? (yells in a deranged fashion) '''OH, where’s the Doctor? OOH, Give Me More Drug! Give Me Drug! '''(stop’s and signs heavily) Oh, that's right I'm on me own. Oh dear, oh dear. I need help.

Anyway! This is from a lovely lady called, April March and uh, just to uh, tickle your fancy a bit, uh. I'd uh- I'd say uh, keep watching the headlines cause, uh, around April and March, actually, uh- Y'know just keep your eyes open. Hmm? Hmm? There's a seismic event happening, with the Gorillaz!

In the meantime, check this out, it's uh, it's called, Chick Habit. I used to have one of those but ah, I'm clean now. It's, uh, it's by April March. (whines) Ah, my thoat.

("Chick Habit" by April March plays)

(Murdoc squawks a singing attempt) Ahh, Stink Fish! (‘normal’) Yeah, yeah? Might work. You can call that Stink Fish. Actually, that wasn't called Stink Fish. Uh, that was, uh, that was, uh, April March. And, uh, that's called, uh, Chick-Chick Habit. Ah, that music. Oh man (long sigh), oh that's so soothing. I just feel like letting myself, drift off. Into the... well into the Abyss really. Nice Abyss mind, y'know? Pleasant- not-not horrible! Not dark! I'm gonna have some rum. Ah (drinks rum and burps) Mm, excuse me. Oh, that's better. I don't know- y'know when you’re coming off the rum. I don't know, do ya- If you're like me, do you see uh, do you see spiders on the wall? And um, flies that aren't there? Hmm? Do ya? No? Oh, it's just me then. Alright then. I must drink less. I think that's probably the answer, isn't it?

Um, yeah, anyway! This show- is not about me talking, clearly. It clearly is not about Murdoc Niccals talking. By the way, you're listening to, (kinda happy drunk sings) Point Nemo FM! 48 degrees south! 123 degrees (drags it out) west! (‘normal’) I got some, uh, voice people in to do the- those little jingles. Yeah, hope you like them. Yeah, their good aren’t they? Hum. I got some other ones coming up, later on, which I hope you like. And uh, yes for the such of all music by people who can make, proper '''Music! Brian Wilson, son of Harold! '''This is called, Sail on Sailor. It's The Beach Boys! And why not? We're on a beach.

("Sail on SailorBoys" by The Beach Boys plays)

(Murdoc try’s to sing a long at the end, he ruins it) Oh ain't that marvellous? The Beach Boys, you know- I think I- ah, y’know, on the contrary I don't think I ruined that; I think I enhanced it, quite frankly that was good, wasn't it? ''Did you like it? Do you like it?'' Oh dear- oh dear, I've been on my own so long, I'm going- I'm going a bit, uh, a bit sorta, eh, a bit silly. You do go a bit silly when you’re on your own, I don't know if you find that- I found this book actually, I was washed, eh- I'm beginning to sound like eh, Jody Blackwell. (Phil chuckles) Actually- that's the title is actually called Plastic Beach. It was washed up on the island. And you know what? You know what folks? Listen, listen, listen, listen to me. Come here, come here, come to Murdoc, come to Murdoc, see here. It's the book, it's actually the history of man, yeah? From the Big Bang? Do you remember when the Big Bang- (to himself)'' wait, when-when was the Big Bang? It was Monday wasn't it? It's on a Monday, the Big Bang, I think, uh. (speaks out) Anyway, and it's right from there, up to the present day!' It’s absolutely TERRIFYING! '''Oh, I tell you, I mean, he's-he's in it. He's in it! On every page! And he always has been, right? And when I say he, I mean '''Murdoc! Me! '''Me- I'm talking about myself in a third person, oh god. No, no- and, uh. No I've been throughout history to, I've been, uh, ancient- ancient Rome. Uh, the black death. That was nice- oh I loved the black death. I really enjoyed the black death, actually. First time it came around, that was best, in the 13 hundreds. Uh, The Fire of London- which I started. I had a box of swans in Pudding Lane. They tried to pin it on me. But nah, didn't really, I didn’t start it- I lie, I didn't- I helped them put it out- I dug a trench. It was my idea! It was my idea! Samuel Peeps, forget about- it he just stood there writing about it! He didn't help, did he? Samuel Peeps just stood there, writing this freakin'… diary. Whatever it was, but- "Oh this fire is getting worse and people"- it wasn’t even- did he did he do anything about it? NO! I think he knew too much, as far as I'm concerned- Anyway I said build a “trench and that should stop it” and they did. And it did. Alright? Okay? Then the, uh, The Industrial Revolution, Abraham Darby, all that- that was good. I like- he was a personal friend of mine. And uh, Izambard Kingdom Brunel- oh- oh god me and (chuckles) Ah-ah- I miss him so much. I-I-I do. I mean I do, I mean I loved him very much- I loved him- you know the thing I liked about him most? His hat. And that sounds strange. But really, I loved Izambard's hat. And I told him that on many, many, occasions. That's why we were close. And, uh, the Vikings of course. So um… Anyway, have a look at this book. It's fantastic. Really it is absolutely amazing. But. It is enough to, uh, turn a man to drink. Quite frankly. Scary stuff. (drinks rum)

Anyway! The next trac- let’s move on. That's enough of my waffle. Moving on! Next track here, uh, is from the, uh, the new Gorillaz album. And you can't- you’re so lucky I'm playing all these new tracks, y'know? (carries on the syllables from ”y’know” on to nonsense) Y'know? Great! It's good, I'm-I'm being nice to you, aren't I?

This one, is called PINK Sink Fish!

(The first verse of "To Binge" by Gorillaz plays)

Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear- no, I-I-I've been thinking, I-I-I can't- I can't call that- I can't call that Pink Stink Fish. It's just- no, I can't- I can't call it that- you can't- it's just, you can't do it, can you? Can't do it. Leave it, forget it- forget it, it's not called Pink Stink Fish. I think- oh hang on, what's that going to be called? Oh yeah- that one's going to be called, (puts on a bit of a voice) OH YES!!

Eh, nice track, hope you enjoyed it. Anyway, you (sings in a really crocky) Point Nemo FM! 48 degrees south, 123 degrees west. Radio! (‘normal’) Ah, I've got some voice people in to do that. Mm, great. Okay, uh, actually I'm- It's getting uh, it's getting a bit grim around here actually. I'm in the middle of the ocean with this fog swirling around, and there’s, noises, and things in the night- which I just don't understand, from creatures of the deep. And it's, just, frankly (sharp intake of breath) disturbing. Although, having said that, that could be my self-conscience. So there you are. (heavy breath) Um, I think the other day, y'know, I-I may have, I'm not sure cause it was so foggy- I might have lost a limb. I'm not actually sure. Anyway, this is uh, Burn Rubber On Me, and it's the uh, The Gap Band.

("Burn Rubber On Me" by The Gap Band plays)

(makes some suggestive noises) I do miss England.

("Plastic Man" by The Kinks plays)

Oh, WOW! Yeah, oh, Ray Davis, uh, Kinks there, y'know? Plastic Man, great song. Lovely.

You're listening to; Point Nemo FM! 48 Degrees South, 123 Degrees west.

Ah, that's better. Feel better now. Uh, you're listening to me, Murdoc Niccals, uh, from Gorillaz. On my own radio station (speaks babalish). I'm on my own. Broadcasting to uh, nobody in particular. (hums a non-tune) Anthony Hopkins, hm, how’s the race? (nonene that sounds like Anthony Hopkins). ''Hm, build a rocket, flew to Mars. '''Flew to Mars. Anthony Hopkins. Shut it! '(takes a beep breath) Right, sorry. Sorry about that. Anthony Hopkins took me over- it happens! People take me over. I'm on me own, that's why- that's why, y'know? Anyway, that her up. Hm? Hm? Bottoms up! There we are.

Right, uh, yes, I've got another treat coming up for you actually, believe it or not. Uh, I am actually treating you very nicely. Even though I'm probably… My mental, disintegration. Uh, it- it is mildly entertaining I suppose, y'know. That's why I set the radio station up- I wanted you to hear me sort of, y'know, mentally disintegrate on air. So there's a record of it. ''I think it's only fair, isn't it? I think it's only fair! Y’know, if you're gonna disintegrate mentally, 'get it down on tape! '''That's what I say- that's what the doctor said to me, y'know?

All right (small chuckle) this is another, uh, Gorillaz track- now- right, now- I've been thinking. I've been thinking, while I've been talking, I've been thinking. As well, at the same time, yeah? So this Gorillaz track is another one, uh, off the album- Oh by the way, this album is the best- out of the 12 album's we've done. This one is called, The House of the Pinky Stink Fish.

(The opening of "White Flag" by Gorillaz plays)

Oh, you’re listening to me Murdoc Niccals on Point Nemo FM, 48 degrees south, 123 degrees west. Thank you for tuning in to Murdoc's little show.

You know I told you that track, that Gorillaz track, which was, yeah, quite good, erm- actually brilliant, wasn’t it? I, uh- I was going to call it The House Of The Pinky Stink Fish, but I think- oh I don't know, I've been thinking about it and I can't really call it that, can I? It's not going to be a hit is it if I call it that, it isn’t going to be a hit. So, (sigh) forget about that, forget about that. I can't call it that, it's stupid. I don't know what- what came over me. Anyway, um, I've thought of a much, much, much, better name. Um, I will- I’ll be calling that track, Helaklangdekleckuhmclackaclackaclacka. Which is much better, isn't it? It sort of, rolls off the tongue easier. Oh dear, last I've come to my senses- so there you are.

Um, anyway, I did- uh- did I tell you about- Oh, that film! I watched a wonderful film last night, uh, called, Cake Fear not to be confused with Cape Fear with, um, Robert Mitchem and all that, no no no- This is uh- this is uh, Cake Fear, which is better. I thought it was better film. I-I watched it last night anyway and god it's scary. Oh no, it's really, really scary. It’s set in this, I think it’s in this like, giant tumble dryer. And there-there's a whole crowd of people dressed in Victorian clothing, Spinning and spinning and spinning. And then this big face comes through and this big tongue comes out. And across- across the tongue, uh, is this little man which looks a lot like Alan Titchmarsh. Who gets shot and explodes- everything just bursts out of him and that's the end of the film. I love it. Oh, I love it. Carna buy a Titchmarsh. Anyway, the next tracks called People Who Died and its by Jim Carole and he's really good, you should pay attention to this. And it’s not called Stink Fish.

("People Who Died" by Jim Carole plays)

Yeah. Oh, that is, uh… that is a very jolly track, that, isn’t it? People Who Die, that’s by Jim Carrol, I like that. That’s good, that’s my kinda thing, y’know, yeah.

Anyway, uh, I’m uh- hope you enjoyed listening to the Gorillaz tracks. And, uh, the- the thing is about all those tracks is that I can't really remember who, uhh, who played on them, or who’s there or, what happened. I just know we came out with that track, and, uh, think it turned out quite really. But next time, next week, kids, I will be doing another show, broadcasting on Point Nemo FM which is 48 degrees south 123 degrees west. And eh, I will be able to tell you who collaborated on those tracks, and what have you. I'm beginning to sound like "Clive Anderson" that’s even worse, isn’t it? (heavy sigh) I must get out more. Ah, this place is awful, scary, fog rolling in- I don't know how long I've been here now could be six months could be a year I don't know- who knows, y’know. But, uh, aw, at least there’s no one here bothering me (jump of fright) Huh, what’s that?!

("I Wanna Marry a Light House Keeper" by Erika Eigen plays)

Audio Video
