Murdoc's Monkey Review

In September of 2008, Murdoc posted a review of Monkey: Journey to the West (a collaborative stage production involving Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett) on the Gorillaz official website.

Murdoc's Review
Right, Ok. Listen Gorillaz fans. I've had a pretty testy couple of months. Credit crunch, house prices collapsing…. I can't seem to shift this enormous deserted 'Kong Studios' building that me and those other gonks have occupied for the last 8 years. And also I've only just got back from this whole 'tracking Noodle down in the Underworld, and rescuing her from an eternal existence in the jaws of a 50ft soul-eating demon from Hades' epic-type-jaunt, as what was posted in my last Bookface geek-fest thing...

That was pretty hairy, but it's all safe now, all good. I'd love to tell you lot about it but, as usual I've got myself all tangled up with some turgid movie dudes who say, “Y'know keep schtum, we'll sell the whole story to Schpeilburg”. Probably all rubbish again but let's see.

Anyway aside from all that. Why am I back here today? Well as I said, So, I just re-surfaced from Hell, dusted all off all the burning coal, entrails, smoke, liver and sulphur from my cape and what do I find on my mantelpiece? A big, gaudy envelope with this inside:

'To Murdoc Niccals...Blah blah blah...You are cordially invited to attend the première of the fantastic new Chinese Opera Monkey: Journey To The West at London's most prestigious venue The Royal Opera House.'

Well, right, me and opera go together like Kylie and arse cheeks, so I thought OK. 'Could be good. Let's check it out...'

I'm always open to new ideas. I actually saw a very vivid performance of Wagner's 'Ring Cycle' recently, but that was a part of a triple-bill including a showing of “My Big Fat Greek Orgy”, and also “Raiders of the Lost Arse” so I'm not sure any of them were strictly 'Opera', by the conventional definitions of the term. But the singing was pretty fantastic. And the aria in the middle brought tears to my eyes. And a strange swelling down below...

So anyway, I'm staring at this invite when I notice this wonderful little tell-tale sign scribbled in crayon at the bottom….

'...Brought to you from the creators of Gorillaz'

Ooohh…Tasty! Sounds like fighting talk to me. Now, you know I'm fond of a bottle of Rhohypnol or two, but you'd think even I would remember putting together a 2-hour marathon bonanza spectacular sung in Mandarin, featuring acrobats, martial arts, plate-spinners, Chinese musicians, jugglers, fully 'coloured-in' animation, jaw-dropping aerial wire-work and that fucking idiot Mike Smith in the orchestra pit.

'From the creators of Gorillaz!?!' I didn't create this! So it's sounded to me like the insidious and relentless credit-stealing work of that bilious, double act, 'Albarn and Hewlett' once more. Either that or Ronnie Barker had been raiding the dressing up box again...

I had to check this out... So, right, I knock back a couple of purple hearts, zipped up my Cubans and hailed a black cab over to this 'groundbreaking extravaganza, 'from the creators of Gorillaz.' Let's meet my 'makers' next venture, huh?

I got to the Opera House and kinda shoved my way through a whole load of those dusty old opera folk, grabbed a big can of Sprite and then took my place on my plush velvet chair, awaiting the unveiling of this fantastic display of arts and crafts. 3 years in the making? Better be good then...

What I then witnessed, well, was just gob-smacking...

So here's the good news: Monkey: Journey to The West is incredible! It's incredible!!!

I was a bit half-cut when I went to see this thing, but there's people FLYING all over the place. It's unbelievable! I got the fright of my bleedin' life.

Actual... 'FLYING'... 'PEOPLE!'

I almost dropped my drink down this old geezer' back in front of me! And the music's the strangest thing I've ever heard. It's sung in this weird language. It's called 'Chine Neese', and it's wonderful. I mean, obviously it would be better if it was sung by say, Jello Biafra from The Dead Kennedys, but you do have to hear this stuff to believe it. It's all over the place!

This production is just bursting full of delights, and I'm a notoriously hard man to please. What are some of the highlights? Well, let's see... I don't want to ruin it but halfway through this fucking enormous hand comes out. Pow! Kinda, crushes Monkey underneath his big, podgy, godlike palm. Frightened the life out of me! My mind had wandered off momentarily at that point. For some reason I was thinking about pints of Strongbow and Girls Aloud, then... Wow! Thwaaappp!! 'Great Big Hand.'... Crazy stuff!

And there's more. The gymnastic displays are amazing! The stamina of this Monkey actor is incredible, almost up to my kinda standard. He's fighting, singing, flying…non-stop. I must find out where he gets his energy from...

Can I surprise you, kids? I like opera. Really. I've always liked opera, especially the intervals... Kurt Weill's 'Three-penny Opera', 'Porgy and Bess' by Gershwin. 'The Rake's Progress' by Stravinsky's not half bad too. Anything by Puccini, Verdi or the fat one out of Take That. Gilbert & Sullivan's “Mikado”'s always gonna work for me. Then you've got dear old Wagner's “Ride of the Valkyries”. Great stuff...

But this 'Monkey King' thing's different. Very different. Uuurrrrpppp!!.....It's not even strictly an opera, it takes on a whole load of elements; musical, cabaret, animations, circus skills, some clown action... and more. It's whole new bag all together...

Anyway, about halfway through I got a strange tingly feeling all over me…It might have been the medication I've been on or even or that cheeky toot of 'Mum and Dad' I had before the start, but... but... mmm... but then it hit me... I knew why this seemed so familiar.

Monkey King IS a Chinese version of Gorillaz!!!

I'm watching this awesome display unfold when it hit me like a 200-ton weight upon my pretty bonce. This is a circus-musical, animated operatic performance blah, blah blah… in which the stars are… a Chinese doppelganger-troupe based on none other than my own platinum selling band Gorillaz! The bloody cheek of it!!

Think about it, right.

There's the fat, stupid one on drums Pigsy. He's the spit of Russel, never more than three feet from a bucket of chicken. Just a loafer really. Then you've got Tripitaka, who's basically Gorillaz' very own Noodle... Softly spoken, young, gentle and full of 'spiritual enlightenment', all that old rubbish.

You've got Sandy, who's just a vacuous plank, doesn't seem very integral to the plot at all as far as I can see, much like our singer 2D and then to top it all off, and this is the real sucker punch…. Monkey is ME!!

The main character, the star, is a cheeky, ball-scratching loon; a genius with maybe a slight touch of arrogance, well-dressed, handsome and someone who believes he's the king of the whole universe. Through his courage, skill, strength and charisma he leads the four of them around the world and ultimately to their very own salvation and spiritual enlightenment. It's his leadership ultimately provides them with immortality and the keys to the world... Sounds familiar, doesn't it?!! IT'S A CHINESE VERSION OF MEEE!!!!

That shook me up something proper, I can tell you. I almost spilled my Royal Opera House popcorn... I considered suing China for copyright infringement, when I realised that Monkey King is a 16th Century Chinese text, so possibly they could claim they came first, but still…It's a rip off of me and Gorillaz. Deffo.

Being an adult though, I decided for the sake of my own sanity to overlook the obvious comparisons, and the rather surreal supposition that I might just be watching a Chinese extension of myself steal my own thunder in front of my eyes...

So once I calmed down, I got a chance to really soak in the whole glamorous, ambitious production. To really take on board what I was experiencing... And truly, it is a joy to behold, a feast for the eyes and a banquet for the soul.

The whole show climaxes with the familiar foursome finally arriving in Paradise. This big Buddha bloke rewards the diligence and courage of the four heroes by elevating them into honourable and respected positions, “from lowly mortals into an almost mythic state”. Quite impressive. Basically what I did for the other members of Gorillaz.

So what's my 'Murdoc Niccals' great, big verdict??

It's a breath-taking piece of work, and for me that's really saying something.

SO. Bottom line is this folks. If you like Gorillaz, (and who doesn't?), your going to LOVE this. I mean, yes, it should have been me as the main character, but still. Not bad at all... Actually, in reality though I've got to admit, in my heart of heart, the real reason I like opera is more to do with the fact that I can swan about in capes, waving my walking cane, while being slightly vacant on a heady 'Brompton's cocktail' of opium, laudanum, absinthe and port. Now a narrative thrills me, but the high pitched voices give me nothing but back-ache, so normally I wear headphones...

Right. That's that one finished. So gotta dash, folks. 'Chinese-Western, cross-cultural multi-genre, mash-ups' are all well and good in their place, but I've just recorded an entire episode of 'Girls Aloud: Exposed' on Sky plus and, see, that type of programme is always gonna come first in my book.

Oh yeah. One other thing. This thing's got a website. www.monkeyjourneytothewest.com

If you listened to a word I just said, you'll check it out...

'Almost as good as Gorillaz…'

Ciao for now...