1 - Murdoc's announcement[]
[Radio static]
Hi! It’s me!! Murdoc Niccals from Gorillaz, yeah…
Well, uh, that’s New Year’s Eve done then. That was a long celebration even for me.
[Radio static]
(Mixing drink) I’ve spent most of the time this month [static] either with a rum in my hand or an ice pack on my head... Anyway! bon anniversaire.
So, I- I'm breaking my radio silence to let all you kiddie-winkles out there know… that… we’ve got a new release! It's, on its way... February is spawning a monster: a brand new Gorillaz track. Oh yeah baby! You better believe it, yeah?
[Radio static]
So, uh, how did this all come about? Ok, let me fill you in, let me fill your boots... Back last year, I met up with the good people over at Converse. A couple of them had come over on a day trip to my Plastic Beach HQ. We'd been there talking our "Gorillaz stroke Converse" hook-up for a while. So, we thought it was time we take it further, yeah? And they wanted to see, if we, Gorillaz, could help them sell their soles. Um, Russel’s never really out of his, so... it seemed ideal.
[Radio static]
The plan, right? was to get a range of the shoes together using Gorillaz own special artwork. So, I put in a call to our art and video director: social reprobate "Jamie Hewlett" and, uh, just to see if he would like to put something together with us. You know, maybe use some photos of the band on the shoe design, yeah?
We look FANTASTIC in ALL our press shots! So why not stick them on the side of a set of Chuck Taylors, which Jamie did. And they looked (hesitant groan) awesome! I- I think they need to be warn in a bit, you know, to give them that scuzzy street urchin feel, but they look really good! And I got a special pair of shiny patent-leather, Cuban heeled Converse thrown into the deal. So… Everything was looking nice and sparkly for us.
[Radio static]
And then Converse said that it’d be good to have a track, you know, some music. [static] And I thought It’d be wonderful to put something together with Converse, you know, music-wise. It’s what we do, Gorillaz, isn’t it? Music, well, we’re known for it (snickers). And, I like their whole, sort of "Three Artists. One Song." idea. Gorillaz are all about the collaboration aren’t we? So it seemed like a perfect fit. Like a hairy Cinderella in a set in size nines.
So I went back and flipped through some ideas, you know, some outlines for the track. I got a me bass out and twanged some new parts down and started cooking out some spicy groundwork. But… you know, it wasn’t, sitting right. The track wasn’t really working. It needed something else. Something really fresh, something that would fit into this whole "shoe song and dance" deal.
[Radio static]
So, I went back to speak to the peeps over at Converse, and we drew up a wish list of players, you know, people we'd wanna work with and throw into this rich sticky mix. Artist to work with on the Converse collaboration, right? Now, here’s where the whole situation gets a bit sticky. You see… I couldn’t get a hold of the folks I wanted to work with, my dream-team wish list A-players. Some other names were suggested… Some, you know, second choice names, "runners up" if you like, you know… but you know, when I’ve made my mind up, I’m pretty stubborn about these things… I work with the people I want or not at all!
[Radio static]
(sounding hesitant) So I uh, took the liberty of umm, just… taking a track that I wanted from the artists I wanted to work with. Not sampling! Ehh kind of… well… (scoffs) I broke into their studio on Christmas Day and had a listen through to what they were working on. And when I found something I liked I… just… took it. Um, I just… stole the whole track... Put it in my little bag, and, uh, brought it back to my own dinky studio to add some uh, "‘Rillaz fairy dust". But WOW, the piece I found was a diamond! Incredible piece of work. Such clarity, such swing, such (inhales) oh... I don’t know, je ne sais quoi.
[Radio static]
It was great. A real solid starting point. But then, I really went to town with this baby. I got Noodle to add some more roaring, buzz-sawing guitars. [buzzsaw sounds] They sound like Messerschmitts on an early morning raid. [fighter jet sounds] (Murdoc imitates a fighter jet) Great!
Then, next I built up the drums with great-big Russel. He smashed and pounded his way through thirty drum kits to get the beat just right on this. He smashed the beat to smithereens. Studio’s just a mess of splinters and ripped up drum skins.
But the crowning glory, the real "golden setting" for this twenty-four karat piece of hip-hop and rock, was the vocals. I have to hand it to the blue-haired g!mp. 2-D’s done it again! His vocals just glide over this track like… uh, I don’t know. Like some kind of uh… silky, Russian, ballerina. Mmmmm… nice, mmmm…
Anyway! I-I can’t say who the victims- urp! The, uh, collaborators are at the moment. Ehh it’s not time to reveal all that just yet, too much paperwork (snickers). And I gotta smooth over some stuff with, uh, you know, certain nemeses, heh. But I can tell you this: this track is gonna knock everything else Gorillaz have done out of the park. [audience applause] and that’s saying something, innit? I mean this track, it’s the bomb. Three guys, one cut, courtesy of Converse. Thanks guys. So, stay tuned to find out more!
Over the next couple of weeks, I’m gonna be letting it all out. The track, the visuals, the names of the artists, and just where and when you can hear this epic behemoth. So keep your ears peeled, see you all soon, mwah! Murdoc Niccals, CEO of Gorillaz, mwah!
[Radio static]
2 - Save the date!!![]
[Radio static]
HI! This is, uh, uncle Murdoc from Gorillaz, back on Converse.com. And here’s a little update on our special new "shoe-to-ear" Gorillaz track.
[Radio static]
(mixing drink) Uh, this Thursday February the ninth, all the info is unleashed! [audience applause] Mmm! I’m gonna be able to tell you, just what this new jam’s called, where to get it and just who’s on it. O- Other than me, but I’m always on it, heheh, so no news there, (chuckles). Until then, my lips are sealed [zipping up sound effect]. But this February the ninth, all will be revealed: The title, the track and the identity of my two new mystery Gorillaz collaborators, stroke, attackers. Big stuff. We so excited!
[Radio static]
It’s been a tricky week so far. I’ve received a fair few threats in the post and a couple of dangerous texts, and a… breezeblock [glass shatter sound effect] through my window, y’know. Apparently, the two artists in question ain’t too happy about me stealing their track. They- They just need to, get into it, you know? When they DO get to hear it all mixed and mastered and… shammied and… sssssimonized, I think they’ll see just how good this hookup really is, and then they can call the dogs off, right? [Wolf howling]
I think this really is the best thing I’ve- Everyone has done. It took a whole lot of work and planning. I had to: track down their studio location, scout out the place, find all the alarms and LASERS were and then break in! [Alarm noise] On CHRISTMAS DAY no less! I- I- I lowered myself into the studio like the phantom jewel thief, and then had to rifle through all these tracks before I came across this one. Then, I had to polish it up! So it sounded like the sparkly diamond you’re gonna hear. A HUGE effort. They should be greatful… instead of trying to kill me… (inhales) Whatever, y’know…?
Tune in this Thursday and I’ll let these cats, OUT. OF. THE BAG. Love you all, M.N.
[Radio static]
That’s me… Murdoc Niccals…
[Radio static]
Gorillaz, you know…? What? The band, you know…? and, those albums… Some of them are quite good actually…
[Radio static]
3 - Murdoc announces Gorillaz collaborators[]
[Radio static]
[Jingle bells] Woohoo! Up nice and early, stocking at the end of my bed! Big day in the Gorillaz world. Today’s the day when the gagging order’s off.
[Radio static]
An envelope popped trough my door yesterday delivered by some… [monkey noises] baboon-like creature. But, the note told me to return sections of the track and not to announce the collaboration on pain of DEATH… but I don’t care, I ain’t listening. It’s just paperwork. SO, drumroll please! [drumroll sounds] I'M ABOUT TO UNLEASH THIS BEAST OF A RECORD I’VE JUST MADE.
[Radio static]
IT’S BIG. ITS BOLD. And it’s entitled… "DoYaThing"! And I can finally reveal the mystery opponents! Uh- Sorry, collaborators. (inhales) Uh, none other than: [cheap midi trumpet sound effect] Mister André “OutKast” 3000 and James Murphy! Mister LCD Soundsystem himself. Plus us, Gorillaz. All on one record. Aww man what a lineup! Who says music’s dead, eh?
What’s cooking the pot grandma? It’s a special stew [static] with extra hot sauce. André and James and me, myself and I, alright? Nice. "DoYaThing": Gorillaz featuring André 3000 and James Murphy. 23rd of February, 2012. The brand new Gorillaz track. My new sonic artillery is in the canon and ready to blow! [canon firing]
Go hear this one, and you can, free on Converse.com, 23rd of February 2012. Free to download as an mp3! One of the finest Gorillaz jams we’ve EVER manufactured. And, uh, maybe try on a pair of lovely Gorillaz shoes while you’re there. It’s just a small way of saying thanks, right?
SO, miss this at your peril. This track is going global on the 23rd of February 2012. [static] Launching live from here on Converse.com. [static] DoYaThing baby! Yes!
(ticking sound, presumably from a bomb) Hmm… I feel like Robin Hood. Robbing all this stuff and then, sort of, giving it away… Gotta dash now! Something’s ticking in my hallway… what could it be? Stay tuned! M.N.
…What the F- [Radio static]
4 - A camera crew pay a visit to Gorillaz HQ[]
[Radio static]
Right then, what’s new… Well, I just had a big sodding camera crew 'round my brand new Gorillaz abode. Stomping their mucky feet through my kitchen… Swines…
[radio static]
(Mixing drink) So, I guess we need a video for this song, always do. That’s how the, uh, music world works. So where else would we film? Our new Gorillaz homebase! It’s like a museum to all things Gorillaz. My whole history in one wonky house. I decorated the place with all the awards and accolades of my incredible career to date. (inhales) Home sweet home…
[radio static]
I do get through the Gorillaz HQs don’t I? Kong Studios, gone. Plastic Beach, gone. Gorillaz Underwater Fighting School, gone, ALL gone! So where am I now? I’m not telling you, no way, it’s top secret. But I can tell you, that the high profile cameos are now caught on tape. The whole band and what also looks like the collaborators, HD too. They’re now official F.O.Gs: Friends of Gorillaz. Well, not friends really. Sounds a bit spazzy, doesn’t it [static] more like, compadres, y’know. Colleagues in the world of music, musical sparing-partners, oral jousters, you know. I can go on, but I’d probably do more damage than good. Especially considering how close they came to trying to kill me. But you know, it’s nice that they like the track now, yeah? Enough to appear in the video.
What a piece of footage this will be. I- I- I just got a little bit of um, post-production work to do. You know, my- my skin looks particularly green on camera for some reason… But, uh, other than that, this is like the Citizen Kane of the pop promo world. Another Magnus Opus from the Gorillaz corporation. Was that too much hype? I- I don’t think so…
Um, “when is this blockbuster coming out?” Mmm, well, stay tuned, and I can let you know all the [static] details as and when they get released from the dungeon that is my Gorillaz HQ PR. So… keep checking on Converse.com, that’s where it’s all happening.
Just opening a limited edition of a vintage Converse.com branded rum, powerful stuff… Mmm… bit of a kick to it. Maybe I should mix this with a touch of ginger beer (ice cubes pouring in glass) Oh, mmm, yeah, nice…
OK! Love you all and, uh... Hey, stay safe out there, yeah? M.N., X. El Presidento of Gorillaz and Plastic Beach and Kong Studios and all the rest. You get it don’t’cha? (Blows kiss), mwah.
[Radio static]
5 - DoYaThing is OUT NOW![]
[Radio static]
ITS OUT! ITS OUT!! ITS OUT!!! The MP3’s released! [cheering sound] "DoYaThing" - Gorillaz and André 3000 and James Murphy... 3 artists, one track. It’s a triple threat, stroke treat, and it’s free to download here, now, RIGHT now, uh, today, uh, from Converse.com. (snippet of DoYaThing plays) This will take the edge off of any hangover… Blast the cobwebs right out of your lugholes, in style! Made to be played at setting “2012”. (snippet stops)
[Radio static]
"DoYaThing" - three artists, one track. Gorillaz, André 3000, James Murphy, here, NOW. And right, just heard, GOOD NEWS: André and James have both resigned, no- no, I mean, ECSTATIC with the track. All is forgiven, and they’ve, uh, called off the dogs, phew. I- I even got sent a nice hamper from Fortnum Mason's from the both. Hmm, piccalilli, how sweet… Sent a big bunch of flowers back in return, you know, orchids. I- I knew they’d see the light in the end...
SOOO boys and girls… [static] Ch- ch- ch- check it out! "DoYaThing", out now, out here, on Converse.com. Voilà and bon appétit. Wh- wh- wait! Wait! What’s this? A video too? Whoa, oh too kind. Oh this this this is- this is too much. Filmed by Jamie Hewlett, ["yeah"] again? What?? In my new Gorillaz HQ? I- I’m overwhelmed!
So you heard here first folks, new Gorillaz video for DoYaThing, coming soon. Stay tuned for details. All I can say is, these things only come around four years or so… Very special days... Watson, my medicine please (pours drink). Mmmm, nice… everything’s back to normal.
[Radio static]
I’m um, just going to... close my eyes for two minutes… speak to you all soon. Love, M.N. Mwah…
[Radio static]
6 - Countdown to DoYaThing video begins![]
[Radio static]
Mmmm… I’ve just seen the finished video to DoYaThing…. Uh, what’s it called offline, online? Uhhh, I don’t know… (mixing drink) some, poncy, video, jargon… INCREDIBLE. Anyway…
[Radio static]
Once again, that’s very special. I look really great in it by the way. And, uh, ‘Rillaz fans, you get a nice inside into my, uh- our new home. [morse code] And uh, my uh, Hawaiian radio station HQ, where I’ve been broadcasting my brand new radio shows. We had to leave Plastic Beach, that place is history. Well, it always was innit? It was built on the world’s history actually… What I mean is it’s gone now. The whole place is down in Davy Jones’ locker: the bottom of the sea, not the shoe shop…
So we moved! All of us! Me, 2-D, even Russel and Noodle. It’s like The Monkees 'round here now. [monkey noises] We’re all living together in the same house, just like the old days. Awww, warms the cogs of your heart don't it? The old gang back together...
Anyway, true to Gorillaz usual form, we’ve uh, you know, filmed the place, the new Gorillaz HQ [static] spot, and used it as the video for our new "DoYaThing" track. It’s looking umm, dandy, you know? And it’s coming out any day. [static] THE VIDEOS COMING OUT. Where can you see it- GUESS WHERE, here! On Converse.com. Oh yes, the vibrant frothing hub of cutting edge entertainment. (glass breaks) It’s like an online palace (fire ignites) for all things cool and creative.
Look um, I gotta run now. Someone just posted some kind of... fire through my letterbox. My hallway’s actually on fire again! Um, M.N. Thanks a lot, love you all. OHHHHH THAT IS HOT.
[Radio static]
7 - DoYaThing video released on 29th Feb!!![]
[Radio static]
[DoYaThing plays in the background] You can feel it, can’t you? The rumble, the tension. It’s headed this way like a herd of funky elephants. The video for DoYaThing is headed this way. [static] It’s a stampede! And it hits, right here, on Converse.com on this Wednesday, the 29th of February! It’s a leap year indeed. Turn in, tune up, nod off!
[Radio static]
8 - DoYaThing video released today![]
[Radio static]
February 29th… I say, that’s rarer than a witch’s third nipple. Leap years come about once every four years you know, but Gorillaz videos like this? [static] Mmm, once in a lifetime!
Yep, it’s today! "DoYaThing", the video, featuring André 3000 and James Murphy, here, now, on Converse.com.
So, here it is folks, in all it’s glory. It’s the Ben Hurr of pop promos. Urp- Have I said something like that already? Mmm, I can’t remember… Anyway! The brand new Gorillaz video to accompany the new [static] "DoYaThing" concierto has arrived! Oh my giddy aunt, it’s true! Yeah, I managed to drag together all the usual Gorillaz golden award winning team, including monsieur Jamie Hewlett, (?), and they’ve assembled this, a sparkling new promo video film, shot in the brand new Gorillaz HQ hangout and home. It’s all too much. Just, look at the love! We’re all back together again under one roof. Aww, we haven’t been so snug since, well, [static] the start of this band...
It’s funny, isn’t it? World tours, platinum albums, Grammys, novellas, ALL of this tore us apart… But a shoe deal with Converse… I- It’s like virtual glue! We’re back together, all under one roof. THAT’S the power of quality footwear, isn’t it?
This is shot on Valentine’s Day and you can just smell the love in the room. I even caressed the back of 2-D’s head with a special, limited edition shoe to mark the occasion. Which brand? Oh Converse of course… A lovely Chuck Taylor smacking the side of his spiky blue dome. Happy Valentine’s Day doofus! But here it is! In all its ragged glory, the video to DoYaThing. Do hope you enjoy. [static]
Oh, and if you do have any comments or suggestions as [static] to how we can improve our Gorillaz flavoured service, please do feel free to pop your thoughts onto a digital postcard and zzzzing it over to me, Murdoc Niccals, at Gorillaz.com, where I will paroose your advice with fervent interest before filing them in a bin.
See you all later! Love and respect, Captain Murdoc Niccals of goon squadron nine. Big kiss!
Oh! P.S.: Um, did I mention the, uh, uncut version of the DoYaThing track? I didn’t? Oh well, you’ve got that to look forward to too. (inhales) I think I’m (?), with these chocolates and sh-[static] you are really spoiling us, non? Too bloody right… Keep you eyes on Converse.com for the next installment in the DoYaThing saga. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
[Radio static]
9 - DoYaThing extended version out NOW![]
[Radio static]
[cheap midi trumpet sound] Well, this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for! The big reveal, the final twist in this epic undertaking. And it’s better than you could have ever possibly imagined! Really, this is it! The Gorillaz Requiem, the feature length, deluxe edition, leather-bound and gold embossed release, of DoYaThing.
I got this in the post this morning folks. Um, just in from my lawyer- um… man-who-does. Uh, it’s says (clears throat):
(In a posh voice) “Dear mister Niccals, hope this finds you well. The full length long version of 'DoYourThing' will be released on Gorillaz.com. This needs to be incorporated in the storyline too.”
(Back to normal voice) Hmm… Urp- by the way, um, I’m doing the voice posh because that’s h- how he sounds. [police siren] I- It’s actually me doing the- doing the voice- good isn’t it? Anyway, (clears throat) he continues, um:
(Back to posh voice) “Both André and James have signed all the papers, and are now happy for this uncut version to be released. I would advise though, in future, it might be better to take a more conventional route to securing the services of other artists. Don’t go breaking into other people’s studios and stealing their music, or you just might find yourself sleeping with the fishes. Good day.”
(Murdoc folds the letter and goes back to his normal voice) Ugrhh… pff, whatever, there you go. [police siren]
My word what an epic. It’s Atlantic, PACIFIC! The oral equivalent of navigating the deepest oceans of outer space! THIRTEEN minutes of filthy sound-to-ear action. Lock up your daughters, and [chainsaw sound] crank this mother up to 25 o’clock! Mwah! Murdoc Niccals, CEO of Gorillaz.
[Radio static]
10 - Sayonara from Murdoc Niccals![]
[Radio static]
Captain’s log, start 8, 43125.8, the mothership that spawned the DoYaThing track has arrived and it's full of noise. Check it out on Gorillaz.com, the vibrating hub of the Gorillaz empire.
Ahem... Was that all good? Did you get all that? If you do need more info on this just... Text me and I'll be happy to get to you soon as. Well, my phone might be on silent so uh, just... Leave a message, yeah?
[Radio static]
So, what more to say? What a wonderful ride this has been, eh? And what a special relationship we've enjoyed with all the people at Converse. Shoes, music, videos, chocolate, rum! Ahh, I can live like this forever... Sadly, they can't. So, as I understand it, I've been instructed to vacate their sight immediately, before they set the dogs loose on me. Shame, I'd love to stay for coffee but, uh, "time and tide wait for no man".
(shouting) Right, ok. I think that's it, that's the track done, the info released, video signed off on. Chicks rescued, dragons slain, the big old size nine check banked and cashed. Right, [static] I'm off down to Marrakesh to go teach parakeets to fly underwater. (engine whirring) I've got a big old Bentley, a tank full of gas, half a bag of snout, a book on Rambo, uh, 200 bucks burning a hole in my jeans.
What a trip. It's been lovely, but, uh, here's to tomorrow. See you all down the road of peace, love you all forever and all that, always will heh, and thanks for all the fish. Yours truly, madly, deeply... Sayonara boys and girls! Sayonara! (car honk) [DoYaThing snippet starts playing] Murdoc Niccals, Ex-Gorillaz. Mwah!
Oh, um, by the way... Did I tell you that DoYaThing is out on Gorillaz.com? I did... Oh right. Ok, pip-pip! Au revoir! Big kiss, um, lowercase, nothing weird...
[Radio static]